My first month at Fuqua did not always go according to plan. I lost my way, searched for the right words, and spent an evening waiting for a baseball game that never began. But somewhere along the way, I learned a few important lessons about finding confidence, building community and making the most of unexpected moments.

Building Confidence Through Practice, Not Perfection

When I first arrived in Durham, there was so much I didn’t know. I didn’t know about the best ways to get around campus or where to get my student ID. Things got easier once I started meeting people. Someone told me about a shuttle. Friends knew where we needed to go for our DukeCards. People shared little pieces of information they had picked up, and suddenly the things that had seemed confusing when I was figuring them out alone became pretty simple.

But I needed more time to grow comfortable with one thing: English.

Of course, I knew I was coming to the U.S. to study in English. I had taken English tests, studied in English, and spent plenty of time preparing before I came. But knowing English and spending your entire day living in English turned out to be two very different things.

At the beginning, there were times when it honestly felt overwhelming. I would be listening to a conversation and think of something I wanted to say. Then I would start rearranging the sentence in my head, wondering if there was a better way to phrase it, and waiting for the right moment to jump in. By the time I was ready, everyone was already talking about something else.

Around that time, I began Business, Communication, and Culture (BCC), a program offered just before the start of MQM classes.

I still remember one of my first case study presentations in Professor Danny McCarthy’s class. I had prepared for it and knew the case, but once I started presenting, I suddenly began to question everything. I was thinking about my English, managing my slides, maintaining eye contact, and anticipating what I needed to say next. Somehow, thinking about all of those things at once made it much harder to think about the presentation itself.

During BCC, I found how to thrive despite that discomfort through case discussions, cold calls, and presentations. I learned things as specific as where to make eye contact and how to enter a discussion without waiting until I had a perfectly constructed sentence in my head.

I didn’t suddenly stop thinking before I spoke. I just started thinking a little less.

Contributing to a Supportive Community

A few weeks later, at MQM orientation, I met my Team 27 for the first time. I noticed the difference almost by accident. Everyone was meeting each other for the first time, but instead of waiting for someone else to start the conversation, I was introducing myself, asking questions, and trying to bring some energy into the group.

Once classes actually started, that became even more noticeable. I started raising my hand more and jumping into discussions instead of rehearsing everything first. A few of my friends have even described me as really proactive, which is still a little funny to hear when I remember how nervous I was during that first BCC case presentation.

Before coming to Duke, I had heard the phrase Team Fuqua many times, but I didn’t really know what it would look like in everyday life. During my first few days here, it mostly looked like other people helping me. After a while, I started finding myself in the opposite position. Sometimes I knew the answer to someone’s question. Occasionally I could introduce two people. Other times I noticed someone who looked like they didn’t know many people yet and started talking to them first.

They are all small things, but I think that is why they have stayed with me. The positive energy I felt when I first arrived was something I could eventually pass along to someone else.

The Secret Rewards of Unexpected Experiences

As Durham started feeling a little more familiar, I also started meeting people outside Fuqua. I joined a scavenger hunt for Duke graduate students from different schools and programs. My team spent the day running around Durham, debating clues, taking photos, occasionally going in the wrong direction, and talking much more than was probably necessary if our goal was actually to win.

We came in last.

It turned out that being terrible at the competitive part of a scavenger hunt was not entirely bad. Because we took so long, we had more time together, and I met graduate students I probably never would have met inside Fuqua. Coming from a business and finance background, I especially enjoyed talking with engineering students and hearing about things that would probably never come up in my own classes.

There was also a small reward for our lack of speed. By the time we finished the scavenger hunt, all the pizza was gone, but the restaurant made us a fresh one.

A few weeks later, I headed to my first Durham Bulls baseball game. I was especially excited because I rode to the stadium with students from another section whom I didn’t know very well. Most of my classes are with the same section, so even though we were all in the same program, it still felt like meeting a new group of people.

It started drizzling on the way there. We noticed it, but nobody seemed particularly concerned. We kept saying it would probably stop soon.

It did not.

The delay gave us time to grab food, find our seats, check the weather radar, and wait for the game to begin. Our conversation started with the rain because there wasn’t much else to talk about while staring at a covered baseball field. Eventually, though, we moved on to where we were from, our MQM tracks, what we had done before Duke, and what we wanted to do after graduation.

As more people arrived, the groups kept changing. Someone would walk over and introduce a friend. Someone else would join the conversation. People moved between rows and made space for whoever happened to show up.

All the while, the rain was persistent. Eventually, my hot dog went cold, the rain diluted my Coke into a cup of water, and the stadium officials canceled the game.

Strangely, I wasn’t that disappointed that we hadn’t watched an inning of baseball.

A month earlier, I probably would have focused much more on the fact that the night had not gone according to plan. But sitting there with a group of people I had barely known a few hours earlier, I didn’t really mind. That has probably been the biggest surprise of my first month in Durham.

I still take the wrong turn sometimes. Occasionally I still think of the perfect English sentence about thirty seconds too late. I am definitely still figuring out Duke, Fuqua, and Durham. But I’m much more comfortable not having everything figured out than I was when I arrived.

I still have several months to get lost in Durham, speak up more often, meet people I might never have crossed paths with otherwise, and, hopefully, make it to a baseball game where they actually play baseball.

I think it’s going to be a pretty fun year.

Go Blue Devils! 💙